the shadow, the flare and the dead
walking this earth for more than two decades had me go through many different experiences and understand a lot of things. though, some of them still do rattle my brain, whether from amazement or disgust - and one of them is human society, different aspects of which provoke all kinds of feelings inside of me, resulting in a net zero, which is numbness.
the shadow - of everything that ever was
human history is full of examples of all variations of human nature - be it cold-blooded mass slaughter of our own kind that we call wars, or strive for the greater good for all of us, endeavors aimed to broaden our plane of existence by discovery of new horizons, from scientific breakthroughs to political action. and yet, all of this legacy that is supposed to be fuel for the engine that our kind runs on, something to make us move forward every second faster than the last - instead does the opposite.
fear. sometimes irrational, sometimes less. the wretched shadow of the events long gone is hanging above every person in some way, everybody has a story to tell and skeletons to hide. already immaterial, unable to harm anyone directly in any way, it still manages to hold the desires and hopes of everyone in a tight grip with it's nonexistent hand, so ghost that it can't be felt, and yet so strong and primal to keep us in a place it deems appropriate. only a few can truly surpass its force, whether through deep self-introspection and analysis of the collective unconsciousness or ideological foundation and acts of courage - but billions more will fall pray to it, existing in terror of things of the past.
call it cowardice or self-preservation, wherever you stand on it - the fact remains; nothing moves forward when it's paralyzed by fear.
the flare - of everything that ever will be
"what will be after i die?" - a question that every human had asked himself. also, things like "will i be able to pay my bills this month?" or "am i getting a raise next year?", or any others that involve the uncertainty of the times yet to come. we make assumptions to generate variants of possible developments of events, for our brain to determine possible threats and rewards in advance. but is there anything more that humans fret over than unknown?
fear, again. a flare of uncertainty, so bright and vivid, yet impossible to grasp or interpret. shining high above everyone, fired by time itself from a metaphorical flare gun - and slowly descending upon our heads, with all its impending doom and unbreakable resolve. only to burn out later on the ground, casting a final shadow and turning into one, still striking fear into minds of many, but now from the other side. transforming itself into its sister alter-ego, yet serving the same purpose. and by the time it does that, the flare gun will fire again, revealing the new horrifying star in the empty sky, making humans shiver in their mental trenches, overwhelmed by primal instincts manifesting in their consciousness.
sometimes it's so dim you constantly trip and fall in the darkness, and sometimes it's so blinding that you can't even see where you're going.
the dead - those who won't wake up
being stuck between the shadow and the flare for their entire lives, some people tend to figure a simple thing out sooner or later: repetition of the same, and expecting a different outcome, is insanity - and will only lead to one's demise. some find refuge in the schools of thought from different places and times, often misinterpreting it - clinging to the shadow's grip, yet somewhat breaking free of it. others start to figure out a way of life for themselves inside of themselves, clearing their minds from the influence of both aforementioned, leaving an empty canvas to paint their own picture of the world. but mostly, it's a mix of the two, producing hybrid philosophies that discover new angles of every other, clashing in argument, polishing their angles, resolving contradictions, creating paradigms and nesting pillars upon which lives of those people will be built.
however, the majority is still stuck between the hammer of the future and the anvil of the past - the flare and the shadow, both dependent on each other for force multiplication. those who never question either exist in their terrorized minds, wrapped in a fabric of conformity like a candy. most don't even try to tear the fabric - they just neglect its existence and by this commit a grave mistake - of refusing to face and adapt to life in its true form. they escape into their little bubbles, so conveniently formed for them by forces in power: soft enough to accommodate but harsh enough to never get comfortable.
and those people, my friend, are the dead. they do not live, they merely exist and consume whatever is thrown at them, never questioning anything significant. devouring the little they have in fear for it to disappear in the future, because it did happen some time in the past.
